


Gothic Emo Girl and First Contact Alien

by ASBusinessMagnet



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, different birth dates for almost everyone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-23
Updated: 2012-07-23
Packaged: 2017-11-23 11:12:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/621484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ASBusinessMagnet/pseuds/ASBusinessMagnet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reposted from the rival website FanFiction.Net.</p><p>"AU. Even what could be singled out as a worst place for education ever and the difference between species can't separate true lovers. Part of The Revival of Rose/Kanaya Fics."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Movement I

**Author's Note:**

> FanFiction.Netters especially like this one for some reason.
> 
> Adapted from a trollfic I wrote for the Marrissaverse called "[OMG IMMA IN LOFE WIDDEN ALLEYEN!](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1H6ij5ecnuRwr7A9465YGvmasMKJIiWlseW-WHlE-sos/edit)"
> 
> On the different birth dates tag: I felt it was especially weird for the birth dates of Avril Lavigne (1984 September 27) and Gerard Way (1977 April 7) to contradict with those of Rose Lalonde (1995 December 4) and Skepkitty (1995 April 17), so I offsetted the latter by precisely 17 years so Rose's birth date is now 2012 December 4 and Skep's is 2012 April 17.

_Thursday, April 8, 2027_

_Dear Diary,_

_This is Rose Lalonde (and never ever "Ava Teague" or whatever my mother's new husband wants me to go by) again. I know you know my last days were terrible, but this day was more terrible than ever. To begin with,_

The fourteen-year-old blonde looking at her diary put her purple-writing pen's other end to her head, held it like that a little bit, then, sighing, put it down and closed the book.

Rose simply did not have any words to describe what happened,or should she say, is happening every work day she has. Bullying? Already said. Outright violence? Also already said. Serious injuries? Didn't happen yet, but no one ever knows. Heavens of Lovecraftian monsters forbid. Then again, if tomorrow was so terrible that medical assistance was needed, she wouldn't have anyone to confess to.

Now if you think "but she has Internet friends!", you're wrong. To Internet friends, she plays a completely different role. There she is the smart lady and always willing to help. And if anyone was to learn the life she truly lived every work day, she would likely burst into tears. The Internet was her way of living an entirely different life, but confessions were to be held to her and her alone.

No one should know of how Rose Lalonde truly feels, ever. Not her family. Not the school's psychologist. No one.

Rose glanced at other props that were hanging around her little room. She could see books for lessons for the next day prepared, the table lamp that was the only source of light in the ever-shortening night of April, the diary she just closed, various knitting projects and a CD player with a disc inserted.

Pulling the earphones attached to the player, Rose noticed an empty CD case. She took the case and read the inscriptions.

_goffik eemow_

_Avril Lavigne * Gerard Way_

A woman and a man with haircuts made to resemble a flying saucer and a mockingjay, respectively, stared from the case. Avril's face was deliberately darkened so only her lips were visible, and Gerard's only facial feature was the sunglasses covering his eyes. That was the time they were still married, Rose noted. Last year, Mr. Way divorced and left Avril with their three kids, all female, but that was only the beginning of the disaster.

Out of all people she could pick for a new love interest, she married a children's book writer, and he did not quite like her daughters' names.

And that was where "Ava Teague" came from.

Rose looked at the other side of the case, listing the tracks.

_1\. Velvet Horror_   
_2\. Green Ghost_   
_3\. Ashen Record_   
_4\. Teal Atom_   
_5\. Pink Mutant_   
_6\. Cyan Beast_   
_7\. Orange Hat_   
_8\. Emerald Terror_   
_9\. Sepia Kitty_   
_10\. Blue Magnet_   
_11\. Light Green Editor_   
_12\. Lavender Freak_

Truly the mixture of colors and mayhem the names provided.

Rose turned on the player and put the earphones on. The gothic emo beats, melodies and lyrics filled her head, and helped her relax for a while.

Then something buzzed.

Huh? Rose turned off the musical equipment and took off her phone from her pocket. It was a gift from her mother for the last birthday she had. While a mundane pocketable rod when not used, it could change shape into a rectangle the size of an outdated Apple iPad, and a paper-thin plastic sheet also extended and could be used as a touch screen. It was really neat, but an ordinary piece of latest technology for 2027.

She glanced over the screen and immediately found something of importance. It was one of her Internet friends, but not the green ghost John, ashen record Dave or teal atom Jade.

It was the alien girl from the spaceship currently grounded on the Moon, from what everyone called the First Contact.

Everyone knew the story. Two months ago, twelve kids, all six "solar sweeps" in their time but thirteen to fifteen years in Earth time, looking like humans but with differently shaped candy corn horns, gray skin and yellow eyes, arrived here from their home planet Alternia as banished exiles, hoping to integrate into the Earth's society instead.

And out of eight billion people to contact, one of the "trolls" as they called themselves, the jade-blooded Kanaya Maryam, started talking fairly frequently to Rose to the point of a romance, or a "redrom", developing between them.

Rose looked at what Kanaya had to say this time.

\- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling tentacleTherapist [TT]

GA: If You Were Looking At Your Earth Human Calendar  
GA: You Might Have Noticed That It Is Only One Day Until We Contact Each Other  
GA: In Person  
TT: Yes, it sure is.  
TT: After school day, I'm going to the train station of my town, and it will be obvious which one is you, and taking photos and autographs is forbidden on your request.  
TT: I know all the details.  
GA: Very Well  
GA: See You Tomorrow  
TT: See you.

\- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] ceased trolling tentacleTherapist [TT]

But Rose knew much more than that. In the interface of Pesterchum, she navigated to the logs of past conversations, and clicked on one from last week.

Everything from the conversation was recorded in minute detail. The proposal to meet itself, the arrangement, and, if psychoanalysis was to be applied, even Rose's and Kanaya's precise emotions, including the part where the blonde was about to faint from the proposal itself.

She turned off Pesterchum and put her… whatever it was on the table, in the mundane rod shape. She then put her music back on, listened to it for a while and then shut it off.

That wasn't the mood the whole meeting thing was supposed to set.

Why restrict your children to one and only one music style anyway?

But Rose wasn't going to have a really long thought about it. She looked down at her current attire - white Squiddles!(TM) tee re-painted so the purple friendly glubbing medoosa looked like an eldritch Lovecraftian horrorterror instead, white skirt and purple stocking, then dressed off and dressed into purple pyjamas with a moon symbol, and shut off the lamp so she could get a good night's sleep.

And what tomorrow had in store for her was nothing to worry about. She and Kanaya would meet that day, and nothing else was to worry about.


	2. Movement II

As the next day rose, several school buses took off from a bright yellow building and headed for the homes of children eagerly waiting to be picked up for school.

The school Rose Lalonde and her sisters attended was called Blue Portals Educational Industries' American Division. As people definitely noticed, too many things were wrong about it. The founder of the school was British, and for an inane reason decided to have a school in America. The school always had artificially inflated ratings, both on the quality of learning and the rates of bullying, which was obvious if you attended the school for a while or even talked to anyone who attended it, but no one cared where to send off a toddler for the first grade. And on top of that, people who were lucky to graduate from the school alive were sent off to the main facility owned by the Briton, Blue Portals Development Centre, and pretty much no one returned from it alive. But the contracts claimed that once you were admitted to Educational Industries, you couldn't leave very simply, and so Rose was forced to live in torture.

As one of the school buses finally arrived where Rose and her sisters lived, they reluctantly walked in and took a seat. Rose herself, to spend the time, took off her piece of technology and looked through some of the older dialogues with Kanaya.

It was like an addiction, but the addiction helped to run away from reality, so it had to be kept.

"Hey! Lesbian!"

Rose had no idea who was called "lesbian". After all, 10% of the world's population was homosexual, and the others learned to accept it…

…except of course these excuses for schoolchildren. No rules existed for  _them._

"Ava Teague! I'm talking to you!"

"I thought she had a new nickname now? Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way?"

"Have you even read My Immortal? This girl  _is_  actually related to Gerard."

"Whatever. Ava, show up right now or we're leaving only half of your teeth when we find you."

Rose stood up only to be punched in the face by a bully and forcefully sit back down.

"Man, will she ever learn? America needs new children. And gays and lesbians are not helping this happen."

"While we're not watching Muslims and Africans will overtake us by number!"

Rose silently admitted that these threats to American society did exist, but was mystified at how they could affect relationships at school.

"Back to Ava anyway."

"I'm still calling her Ebony."

"Okay fine, Ava, Ebony, no one cares.  _What's up with her looking at her high-tech tablet anyway?_  Seriously?"

"There is only one way to find out."

A feminine hand with extremely sharp nails descended to where Rose's tablet was, snapped it getting it back to a rod, and on the way back, made sure to leave a mark on Rose's face.

"Now. For the revelation."

"What the fuck, man? We take an artifact from Ava Teague and she's already calling herself Rose?"

"And who's Kanaya anyway?"

"Kanaya Maryam? Have you heard about this First Contact thing that was happening?"

"Oh, yes. So, Ava? Too good to have a crush actually on this planet?"

Rose finally opened her mouth to speak. "It was her-"

"Blah, blah, blah, more stuff from Miss Ebony Mary Sue Way that we don't care about!"

"Ebony  _Dark'ness Dementia Raven_  Way."

"No one cares! There is a perfect victim, and nickname is only salt on the meat."

"Oh, hey, look! It's the school!"

One of the guys threw the rod back to Rose and she took it back in her pocket.

When she walked out of the bus, a familiar view greeted her. The bright yellow wall of a test chamber with an oversized door, and the word "SKOOL" written in blood of previous casualties of education. And since blood did not paint well on the walls, only a shadow of the word could be seen, and it required new blood.

And Rose knew whose blood precisely they desired.

She looked at the clock inside the school. Still a few minutes to review the logs.

However, when she looked at the Pesterchum app, she saw what she wished she hadn't seen.

\- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering grimAuxiliatrix [GA]

TT: Lady, you are a freak of nature no one would like to bang  
TT: And you can forget we ever had a relationship.  
TT: Signed, Rose Lalonde because OMG I HATE MY REAL LIFE NAME SO MUCH.

\- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering grimAuxiliatrix [GA]

\- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling tentacleTherapist [TT]

GA: Rose Are You Serious  
GA: The Manner Of Speech Is Satire Like  
GA: But Very Clearly Insulting To Me  
GA: Rose Please Respond  
GA: Do You Still Want To Meet Tonight  
GA: Please Say At Least Something

But then, the bell to the first lesson rang and Rose headed for her room with all the other children without typing an answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I especially love how by 2027 "Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way" somehow has become an insult.


	3. Movement III

Just when you think nothing worse can happen, something worse happens.

This was the one and only truth about the general life in Educational Industries. The first lesson, Informational Technologies, was moderately okay, as Rose was sure not to turn on Pesterchum on her PC. She couldn't afford to show her compassion towards Kanaya. She'd be dead if that happened.

But as the bell rang and Rose was about to walk out of the classroom, someone from behind the door had been waiting to slam the door right into her face.

"Oh, sorry, Ebony, didn't mean to hurt you!" One of the bullies said clearly sarcastically. But Rose had to put her cool face on. Just don't care and everything will be fine.

The next lesson, History, was dreaded by most students. The teacher was especially cruel and could force the kids into silence by purely staring at the troublemakers. That should stop the bullying, right?

_Wrong._

As Rose got the results from the last test - she wasn't  _the nerd_ , but her grades were fairly good anyway - a boxing glove sprung out and hit her in the face. The teacher then noticed and wanted to comfort poor Rose, but as she walked over to her, the same glove sprung out again and hit  _her_  in the face. The teacher then made sure to stay away from the evil glove, which in fact was controlled by radio waves, and left Rose alone -

\- even as the same glove kept knocking out any book or workbook that she put on there, and the lesson started going very slowly as she wondered when this all would end.

But then it finally ended, and Rose finally got time to trail off.

_And for the third lesso-_

"SLAM! For the unwanted lesbian!"

One of the bullies now threw Rose onto a group of lockers. As she recovered from the hit, she noticed that the lockers now had a feminine shape carved into them.

_And whose fault it's going to be? Mine. Never theirs._

Rose slowly backed away and started walking nowhere in particular.  _Just avoid bullies and you'll be fine._

But as she walked into the third lesson, Geography, after the bell, someone slammed her into the door again and she felt as she hit a group of lockers again, but this time because of her own weight. She again recovered, made sure this time there was no indent, and walked into the class.

And, sure enough, it was her who was going to pay after all. Several high-ranking school officers walked into the class and took Rose's hand.

"Ava Teague, you are hereby-"

And then a gunshot. As Rose blacked out, a certain girl in a lab coat with partly black, partly white spiky hair emerged from behind the teacher's desk, holding a pistol and a Post-It note. She then dropped the gun, walked over to Rose's desk and placed the note.

_The Thief is aware._   
_The justice is done._

_\- Gladys Rattmann_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I _also_ especially love how Rose's lesson order has essentially been adapted from mine at the time.


	4. Movement IV

Kanaya Maryam, one of the twelve trolls from the first contact, was now on Earth's train station, waiting for her Internet friend to arrive. She tried her best to blend into the humans, but the horns couldn't be as easily concealed, and everyone pointed at Kanaya and took photographs, even though she knew it was forbidden.

And, to add to it, there was another message from Rose.

\- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering grimAuxiliatrix [GA] -

TT: Should we pretend to be Ava, considering she's dead...  
TT: Meh.  
TT: Simply insulting her love should work.  
TT: Kanaya Maryam, please return to your moon right now because no one wants you here.  
GA: Rose You Are Doing It Again  
TT: Who the hell is Rose?  
GA: You Are  
GA: Rose Lalonde  
TT: SHE'S NOT. HER NAME IS AVA TEAGUE. IS THAT NEWS TO YOU.  
GA: Well If You Are Telling Me That The Human Claiming To Be Rose Lalonde Is Named Differently  
TT: No shit.  
GA: Then Yes  
GA: That Is News To Me  
TT: Man, you've got no hope.  
TT: Our Thief of Hope is clearly at work here.  
GA: Thief Of Hope  
TT: Gladys Rattmann.  
TT: She uses that title because she thinks it's cool.  
TT: And it is.  
GA: Anyway So  
GA: What Happened To Rose  
GA: Or As Should I Say Ava  
TT: OMFG I'm Rose and everything is okay  
TT: I SAID STOP ROLEPLAYING  
TT: She was shot.  
GA: By Whom  
TT: Gladys Rattmann, who else.  
TT: Her mother set ablaze a revolution but then died.  
TT: So she thinks she can continue it.  
TT: But at least we know her mother was a cool lady.  
TT: But all evidence we have is that stupid fanfic Gladys carries everywhere.  
TT: Portal 2: The Stupidest something.  
TT: You mean the Stupidest Sequel of All Time.  
TT: Yeah, something like that.  
GA: Portal 2 The Stupidest Sequel Of All Time  
GA: Was It Not The One Roses Sisters Internet Acquaintance Wrote  
TT: O ma fuckin god you know the Business Magnet  
TT: Sorry. I thought you were a n00b at all this.  
TT: I guess you're a cool lady too.  
GA: Thank You  
GA: But My Knowledge Of "Portal 2 The Stupidest Sequel Of All Time" Is Very Limited  
TT: From what is discernible, the Thief's parents, Chell and Doug, destroyed everything then were separated.  
TT: At least there's something like an ongoing plot.  
TT: UNLIKE A CERTAIN WIZARD STORY BY A CERTAIN AVA TEAGUE I COULD MENTION.  
GA: Complacency Of The Learned  
TT: Another coolness point for the alien.  
GA: But She Always Was Too Embarrased To Tell Me The Plot  
TT: Plot?  
TT: Are you seriously telling me that this time there even is a discernible plot?  
TT: Because there isn't.  
TT: Just a thesaurus, except without definitions and not ordered alphabetically.  
GA: So All The People Here  
GA: Could You Get To The Point Already  
TT: Ava Teague, or, in your stupid cypher you need to get rid of, "Rose Lalonde", was shot, and is probably dead.  
TT: The end.

\- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering grimAuxiliatrix [GA] -

_Calling Ava Teague "Rose Lalonde" is a stupid cypher, yet calling Gladys Rattmann, whoever that is, "Thief of Hope" isn't._

_Something is really wrong here._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, so now Portal 2: The Stupidest Sequel of All Time is also a cultural icon.


	5. Movement V

"The bullet wound will still take time to heal, but otherwise you should be okay." The nurse said to Rose and allowed her to leave the hospital.

_Why am I not dead already? I should be. I was the one who was shot. I should have died and landed myself at heaven already._

As she looked at the clock in the building, Rose then noticed school day had already ended, but there was still one thing wrong.

"Kanaya."

Rose then stormed off the hospital to the train station, but not before being confronted by Principal Richard Grant.

"Is this yours?"

Rose looked at what the principal was holding, and immediately recognized it. "Yes," she replied picking it up, and ran fast again.

When she was at the train station, however, she suddenly stopped. The blonde looked around the station, noticed the candy corn horns, and started slowly walking towards their owner.

As Kanaya noticed Rose, she couldn't help but be relieved. "Rose! You're alive after all!"

But then Rose confronted her with the hard truth.

"Sorry, Kan, we can't be in any kind of contact. The schoolchildren would kill me."

"And nearly did."

"And nearly did, yes. So. As I said. Thank you for the time we spent together, and goodbye. Forever."

"So suddenly?"

"Yes. Sorry."

Rose watched as jade green tears started forming in Kanaya's eyes, and wanted to comfort her. "There's nothing I could do in making Earth... not crapsack."

But then Kanaya doofed her and ran away.

"Now what I'm going to do..."

Rose thought for a minute, but then suddenly was hit with a genius idea. She took off her tablet again and started writing into Pesterchum.

_TT: Sure, we cannot live on Earth. But there always is your homeworld._

As Rose sent the message, she noticed as the brightness in the crowd suddenly stopped moving, then inched closer.

"You're really suggesting that?"

"Yes."

"But my other friends-"

"Your lover is here, and that's it."

Rose and Kanaya then hugged again, and remembered how happy it was to converse through Pesterchum, and how happy it is to be together, even in permanent danger.

Even if such danger was caused by the choice for a love interest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me again. What precisely is so much likable about this story that doesn't apply to my other fanfics.


End file.
